Creepy Artwork Trumped by Creepy Man in White

...And Also With You

At work today, I figured out I can do impersonations of ten (10) characters from the original Star Wars trilogy.

In no particular order:

- Darth Vader
- Luke Skywalker
- Princess Leia
- Chewbacca
- Jabba the Hut
- Hans Solo
- The Emperor
- Yoda
- C3PO
- R2D2

I should note that these impersonations are utterly horrible. For instance, I'll just say "Luke!" in a male voice, and by default, I'm obviously Hans Solo. Then I'll immediately follow with "Leia!" Well, since I just got done impersonating Hans, I have to now be Luke. See? Awesome. Next time you see me, ask to hear all of them. I'm sure you'll be 10-for-10 in the guessing department. Lucky.

Petroleum Companies are Stealing Honey Bees

There's a big mystery going on right now: The bees of the world are disappearing. Why? No one is quite certain, but I think I figured it out.

You see, candles are made from petroleum products. They are unhealthy, and cause dirt/soot to accumulate in your home. Beeswax candles, however, are organic, and do not give off harmful smoke.

So, after putting two and two together, I've come to the conclusion that petroleum companies are killing bees so the bees cannot produce enough wax, thus preventing beeswax candles from gaining more market share in the candle industry. It makes perfect sense.

We must protect our honeybees from these ner-do-wells (sp?)!

Pure Terror

This is a picture of my cousin's sons. Twins, and I think they are three. Have you seen such deviousness?

The one in front looks like he got away with something, and the one in back looks like he's going to try for himself.

The Best Arcade Game Ever

I heard someone say this the other day:

"This is Area 51-type shit."

I immediately laughed; the statement meant such varied things. But I then started thinking about the arcade game. Have you ever played it? You have a pistol control, and you shoot alien soldiers that jump out at you. You're a member of some death squad I think is called S.T.A.R.R., or something similar. Maybe S.T.I.C.K? Anyway, I was awesome at it.

Later, in the Air Force, I would get the expert marksman award/ribbon for the 9mm handgun. Thanks video games.

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Slippers

I wear house shoes every evening (and I mean they are slippers with a rubber sole); I love them. I may look ridiculous and/or redonkulous, but I don't care. They are warm and comfortable, like a microwaved-pillow. Your feet thank you, as well. And I don't mean like they literally speak to you, but more like if I was an interpreter for footwear who just told me what to say.

In My Dreams

Sometimes, while I'm falling asleep or have woken in the night, I have an idea that's worth writing down; something I don't want to forget. So, mornings following these occurrences, I take a look to be reminded exactly what I was thinking. Usually, I can explain my reasons for writing what appears, but, after attempts to decipher the following scribble, I wasn't any closer to understanding myself (but I did manage to question my sanity):

Courtney Cox and John Edwards are to get married. CC hits him with her car on purpose after she finds out he's gay, but doesn't want to call off the wedding. His sister, however, saw it all happen, and JE said (right before he died) that both he and CC looked into the other's eyes "and yet she never slowed the car."

Also, JE was secretly cross-dressing at work.

The rest of the film, CC tries to prove she didn't do it on purpose, and proceeds to concoct a never-ending lie. Things get complicatedly funny; it's a dark comedy. Co-starring Queen Latifah.

For reals.