How to Review Movies, Paul Degarabedian-style

I was reading a review of Knocked Up, and I came across this:

"It looks like a lot of people wanted to get knocked up this weekend," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers.

I wonder how hard a schedule Mr. Dergarabedian keeps; that was the laziest summation ever. It mentioned the title of the film, but not as the title. BRILLIANT.

The lack of thought being practiced made me sick. And it made me angry. It reminded me of Marmaduke; a comic strip that has been called "cancer and madness."

So I thought I would take the easy way out (obvs), and write my own reviews (Dargarbeidiadna-style):

"The weekend was spent waiting for the terminator to arrive."
"This movie took an easy ride to number one."
"Audiences were looking to do some dirty dancing at the box office."
"People lined up to board the 3:10 to Yuma."
"Whenever Batman begins to show his face, it gets scary!"

Try creating your own, and leave them in the comments. I wanted to write more, but had to stop because, while I couldn't tell if they were funny, I could tell I wanted to hurt myself.