Get to da Choppuh!

Got off work a couple hours early, so I decided to get myself a library card. It's pretty easy to pick yourself up one of these things, and I highly recommend it. That's your tax money at work, take advantage sucka!

At the library of 2007, real, paper books have taken a back row to CDs, DVDs, and audio-books. And, being that I have a few unfinished "reads" already collecting dust at home, I opted to peruse the movie aisle.

Enter Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.

I have always been a fan of Schwarzenegger movies (excluding Twins), and can wax poetic for hours on Predator. I was excited to finish the trilogy of robot-from-the-future-shows-up-to-save-future-leader.

I was planning on writing a detailed review to get you caught up on one of the highest-grossing films of 2003, but decided to hit on just a few thoughts I had:

• I wish they didn't make Terminator try on those silly star-shaped, jewel-encrusted sunglasses. Yes, he smashed them underfoot, but I don't need my cyber-savior looking like Sir Elton John.
• Where was the topless shot of the female Terminator (T-X)? Boo.
• I don't believe that a Toyota Tundra could take being hit 17 times by five different vehicles, and then still work well enough to make it to Victorville.
• Really, Claire Danes, Terminator 3?
• There's no way a crane could drive that fast.
• Terminator kills John Conner in the future? That really brings up a lot of problems with the whole space-time continuum . (For more on this, see Back to the Future III.)
• I hated when Terminator said, "I'm back." and "She'll be back."
• The special effects were better than the third Matrix.
• I'm surprised coffins are bulletproof.
• I was so effing happy to see some helicopters in another Schwarzenegger film.
• Could've used some more ramping.

Can't wait until Terminator 4; hopefully, it'll be released around 2009, and you can look for my review come autumn of 2013.

[Sidenote: While writing this, I learned that the guy who played the Predator, also played Harry in Harry and the Hendersons. Kevin Peter Hall died a year after a 1990 blood transfusion was botched, and they gave him HIV-tainted plasma. Sucks. He was 7' 2".]

Evacuation Hydration

I've been at my job for two years (next week). Nearly every time I use the stall—and, of course, I use the stall for the differently-abled (so much room, and handles!)—there is an empty and cap-less water bottle sitting nearby. A new one appears daily.

I've asked around, and no one seems to know who procures the bathroom-bottle. For such a small company (50 people), I'm surprised the case hasn't been cracked.

From the clues I've collected, the male (I hope), comes in during the late morning. They must work up quite a sweat, because the bottle of water is completely empty, and the cap appears to have been removed in haste. Haste I say!

It is usually Kirkland Signature brand water, which is from Costco. You need a membership for that, so I could do an informal survey around work, and the bottle-bandit may unwittingly reveal himself. Lately, however, Arrowhead brand has been popping up, and I think the only people with regular (heh) access to that manufacturer's H₂O is executive staff.

What I'm trying to say is that the vice president may or may not be "doncing" at such an intense rate, and is taking in over 12 ounces of water per sitting. Egads!

I'm Saaaay-ring Awwaaaaay

This story is a mixture of crazy and sad. You'll get the picture reference after reading it.

Woman jumps to death from Tokyo building

John Games

If I'm going to spend time in the W.C., I try to make the most of it. When at home, I read books/magazines or watch TV in the mirror's reflection.

But when I'm at work, I don't feel like hiking down the hallway with a Men's Health under my arm...I think everyone would know what's going on and I want to avoid befouling company property (the magazine).

So, I play games on my mobile phone.

I started about two years ago, playing Ms. Pac-Man on my Samsung SPN-400. Level one was dominated on all settings (easy, normal, hard), and I went from trying to beat it, to trying to beat my high score. The rub, however, was that it was just the demo version of the game; after 70 seconds of play (or the first level ended) you had to buy the full version, or restart.

I chose to restart.

Being the frugal gentleman that I am, I was not going to pay money for something I enjoyed only while defecating...a private time in life that should always be free.

After purchasing a new phone, last year, I came into several more games. Though they were all demo versions, I had a new Ms. Pac-Man, World Poker Tournament, Midnight Pool, and Tetris.

Ms. Pac-Man was old hat, I don't know how to play poker, and aiming the cue-stick was difficult on a small screen. Tetris, however, was good to go.

Oh, sweet, sweet Tetris. It quickly became my favorite, and nowadays, I have become a pro at the 12-shapes the trial version allows. It's a quick, 60-second or so playtime, but it's easy to restart and reign supreme. I can get in three or four games before business-time has ended.